This week's exercise was focused on producing feelings of loving-kindness and then projecting those feelings onto your thoughts, yourself, and your environment. As I began the exercise, I had a distinct feeling of fear in me that I couln't put my finger on. I listened carefully but couldn't shake this sensation and it definitely made a difference on how effective this could have been. I don't know what I was afraid of but I did notice that it was still possible to feel this loving-kindness; however, it wasn't strong and when I managed to place it in certain areas it only kind of touched on them and didn't give the full effect that it could have. I would still reccomend this exercise to others because, dispite my difficulty, it did have a slight positive effect on my feelings of well-being afterwards.

I did some reading on the concept of a mental workout and it makes a lot of sense that it is something that needs to be repeated over and over again. A mental workout is more than just a few simple breathing exercises to relax you; it serves to quiet your mind so that you can gain a better perspective on your internal self. Regularly perfoming these exercises can lead to decreased feelings of emotional instability because of the calm mindset that it all comes with. I plan on practicing this during my quieter moments of the day or when I can get in an environment where it might be useful. Off the top of my head, two moments I can think of are when I shave and brush my teeth in the mornings and during my commute on the metro and trams to work.

Week three exercises

I honestly don't think some of the questions asked in week 3 can be answered in any type of way that would give justice to the true purpose of this course. I've been tasked in previous classes with taking a 'time out' and evaluating myself in spiritual, physical, and mental areas. My response was that I feel good, but I could be doing better; isn't that everyone's consensus? So what if I assign a rating of 7 to any of the aforementioned areas, would my goal be to get it to a 9? How do I even quantify something like that?


I could be better. That's the point. It's also the problem. The deep sense of general dissatisfaction is like a radioactive waste spill in our lives. It sits there ominous, spreading, and it radiates in the back of our actions without having an immediate or obvious affect.


I guess if I had any goal for these three areas it would be to incorporate love into everything I do: the way I fold my laundry, the way I talk to my friends and family, the attention I devote to my work, the method I read books, and the technique in which I practice Brazilian jujitsu. I've been mulling on this concept for days now and honestly I do feel something inside telling me this is right. I feel myself doing things slower and with greater care. I've decided to continue on this path with no purpose other than to project what might be the best part of me into what I do. 


The relaxation exercise to me was frustrating because I wasn't ready to accept it. I think this was primarily due to the visualization I had during my spiritual evaluation of myself. "In order to promote my spiritual well-being, I will meditate 3 times a week and attend the church I was raised in once a month." This seems so fickle to me, and dissapoints me in a way I can't fully describe. Maybe I'm just being difficult. a

Blood flow exercise

On Friday night I finally tried the 'Journey Into Relaxation' exercise required by my class. I ended up restarting the audio feed 3 times before I was actually able to settle into a mindset that could accept all of the instructions as they were meant to be used. A big part of it for me was that I wanted to treat it the same way I treat meditation; that is, although I could quiet most of my external distractions, I needed to make sure my internal ones were silent as well. All week my lower back has been in pretty bad pain. I can't help but think about the film '50/50' where it turns out the character experiencing a lower backache actually has neurofibrosarcoma (cancer). I'm sure I'm just being a hypochondriac, but I'll make it a point to get it checked out. Anyways, so as I managed to lay back and relax even though my lower back relentlessly demanded attention and I visualized my sternum as a warm cauldron of blood waiting to be distributed anywhere it was needed. Although the exercise directed me to focus on my arms, the word 'back' repeated itself in my head, so I naturally focused my attention there. I thought the voice was a little distracting but necessary for a first time user to be guided to the intended end state. I was skeptical at first but once I got my breathing under control everything else came pretty easily. The areas that I focused blood flow to became warmer and aside from the relaxation that followed, a sense of well-being came over me as well. Afterwards, I couldn't help but wonder if the warmth I experienced was imagined or if my body had actually responded to my commands. Didn't I read something on Buddhist monks changing their body temperature through meditation?  After searching Google I found this site that confirmed that it was possible to make this happen. Interesting. I've decided to try again later on this week without audio guidance to get better at this.

Introductory Post/ A Few thoughts

I never really thought I’d write a blog. Seeing what people produce when they realize they have the ability to instantly place on display every thought that comes to mind has turned me off to the whole prospect of blogging. Is it just me, or are too many posts on these social networking sites beginning to look a lot like one another?  Maybe I’m just playing devil’s advocate, but this might be a good thing. Kind of a ‘culling of the herd’ where genuinely new ideas get noticed against a backdrop of simulacra*. To be fair, I too am guilty of the Facebook post that I thought was just the bees knees at the time only to realize that I am, in fact, just as stupid as everyone else.

Well, the mind/body connection is a powerful thing, and if posting a few lines on the subject every week gives me a better understanding of mine,  I’ll give this a try. What’s the worst that could happen?

Welcome to my blog.

-Danny

*My new favorite word that I learned last week: unsatisfactory imitations lacking the impact of the original.