Final Post

I still stand by what I wrote about in week 3 regarding my own personal feelings gauging some aspects of my integral health. I'm still not comfortable putting a number on things and I think to do so degenerates some of my feelings for what the end state should be. With that said, I feel I have made most progress with slowing down in my actions and incorporating love into my work regardless of whether or not my tasks are my choice. This was one of my goals for the course and it is something that will always be a work in progress. I've done more conventional meditating in recent weeks than I have probably in my entire past combined, this has been a huge catalyst for my feelings of well-being and one of the changes I implemented that I definitely plan on pursuing. The biggest reward I've experienced in all of this is that I feel like I have progressed from this physical/mental plateau I reached almost 2 years ago. I've maintained a constant state of general good experiences but there hasn't been any kind of improvement that I've noticed until I began some of the exercises introduced to me here. The difficulty in progressing was made worth it by my perception of progress and the feeling of hope that followed it.

Unit 9 Project

I.                        Introduction:
Why is it important for health and wellness professionals to develop psychologically, spiritually and physically? What areas do you need to develop to achieve the goals you have for yourself?

Health and wellness professionals need to develop psychologically, physically, and spiritually because all three are necessary in the ‘whole person’ concept. We need to be able to do more than just instruct a patient on what tools they can use to develop themselves, we need to have an understanding of the process on a personal level for guidance purposes. I would describe it along the same lines as believing in the product you are selling, but on a much grander scale. I definitely need to develop all three areas in order to achieve the goals I have set. I think the one that could use the most attention is my psychological growth since I feel like it could serve as a catalyst for the other two.

II.                        Assessment:
How have you assessed your health in each domain? How do you score your wellness spiritually, physically, and psychologically?

I have assessed my health in each domain mentioned above and found myself lacking in all three. I would say that my physical health is probably the strongest of the three, but even that needs improvement. I think my psychological and spiritual health are about even and whenever I feel growth in either one of them, I recognize it in the other as well.

III.                        Goal development:
List at least one goal you have for yourself in each area, Physical, Psychological (mental health) and Spiritual.

I prefer to set short term goal for myself and reach them so that I get some satisfaction in my measure of progress. For my physical health, my most recent goal was to quit smoking. I’ve never been a heavy smoker, but there have been times when I’ve gone through a pack in a day or two. I felt the physical effects of this a few weeks ago after I smoked 4 cigarettes throughout the course of a work day and then went to my jiujitsu class that night. After one 5 minute drill, I was ‘gassed’ and couldn’t catch my breath. I decided to quit for good right at that moment and I’ve felt better ever since. For my mental health, I set the goal to meditate once a week. I usually do this in the sauna at our house with no lights on. The lack of visual stimulation keeps me from being distracted. The heat gives staying mentally calm a sense of urgency; otherwise if I lose my focus I immediately return to the discomfort of the situation and need to regain my composure as quickly as possible. I have thus far been unable to set a spiritual goal for myself that is realistic to me. It feels unnatural to try to force something like this on myself and, as a result, is counterproductive. I do try to recognize a ‘good spirit’ in other people when I see and, for now, that feels like the correct way to go about with my own spiritual progress. 

IV.                        Practices for personal health:
What strategies can you implement to foster growth in each of the following domains; Physical, Psychological, and Spiritual. Provide at least two examples of exercises or practices in each domain. Explain how you will implement each example.

For my both my physical and mental health, the importance of exercise cannot be understated. I rely on it heavily to keep me centered and have some measure of order in my life. I attend jujitsu classes at least twice per week and either go running or lift weights and additional 2-3 hours. I prefer to exercise in the morning because of the endorphins that that course through my body throughout the day. Additionally, I will change my diet so that it doesn’t counteract my physical activity. To do this I will avoid too many processed foods but, at the same time, will indulge myself in whatever I want at least once a week so that I don’t give in too often and allow my diet to completely fall apart. For my mental health I will continue meditating and plan on gradually allowing myself to do it in different places while weaning myself back into distractions that would have otherwise thrown me off. For my spiritual growth, I think my meditation will play a big role since a quieter mind that is free from distractions is better able to recognize true goodness in others. I will take a minute every morning to leave my distractions outside and remind myself of the goodness and kindness in the world and that it would be a shame to not try to see this on a daily basis.

V.                        Commitment:
How will you assess your progress or lack of progress in the next six months? What strategies can you use to assist in maintaining your long-term practices for health and wellness?

In order to assess my progress, I will take the time at least once a month to ask myself if I truly believe that I am growing in these areas. If I can honestly answer yes, then it is so. I feel that this is an honest way of doing things since we all hold the ability to realize when and if we are lying to ourselves. Monitoring my physical progress is relatively easy. I will go for checkups every 6 months (especially as I get older) and keep track of my body fat percentage and vitals. For both my mental and spiritual health, I think the best thing for me to do is to go on meditative retreats and to continue asking myself the tough questions that are pertinent to this area. I am actually planning on doing an Oso meditation retreat in Kerala, India this winter as a type of unorthodox vacation.

Practices to benefit the mind

Performing the loving kindness exercise and regularly meditating have been the two most beneficial parts of this course to me. The loving kindness portion changes my focus of effort as while I exercise and has also changed the way I do my job. I take my job pretty seriously and often love it, but at times I hate it with the very core of my being. This is not an understatement and sometimes I wonder if other people feel the same way about what they do. For instance, right now at this very second, I hate my job like I hated that one fat kid in 5th grade who tried to pick fights with me once a week. I'll refrain from name dropping but although I'm positive I will never project feelings if loving kindess to that tub of lard, I have found it useful to use this exercise to change the feeling of wanting to drop kick my desk into the hallway to performing tasks slowly and with the care that makes sure they get done properly and with a sense of self. Meditation has just helped me calm my body in uncomfortable situations and made a huge difference in my level of focus before I practice Brazilian jujitsu.

Meeting Aesclepius

Aside from the feeling that conducting the 'Meeting Aesclepius' exercise is supposed to give you, I think the thing to take away from this is that the person you visualize as you are conducting it is a representation of the state you aim to attain. The thoughts of the person I visualized were clear, decisive, and focused. I think in the past I might have added fearless into that as well but I've realized that I don't see fear as a weakness. I feel that fear is a necessary emotion and we should learn what to do with it when the time comes. The speech from this person was also concise and used as much word economy as possible to convey thoughts. This person's heart was open and strong and the goodness from it is the type that is recognized by those around him. I found this exercise to be the easiest to for me to accept and I would like to do it regularly to keep myself focused on my mental and spiritual progress.

The saying about being unable to lead someone where you have not yet gone is one that is easily understood. I think the saying 'no man is an island' is one that is also pretty pertinent in this area. We all pick and choose the qualities we would like to develop within ourselves from those around us and before we can hope to convey this qualities to others, we must first foster it within ourselves. I know I've never heard of 'the blind leading the blind' used in a positive situation before. It is a health and wellness professional's obligation to practice this development so that they have a basis from which to help heal those around them. In time it leads to solidarity with those they try to help so they understand when someone has 'plateaued' and is unable to progress they can better guide them through those difficulties.

Universal Loving Kindness

I realized this week that I've been unconciously gravitating towards the exercises we've been conducting throughout this class and finding peace in odd places. There are a few areas I've so far been unable to place these feelings of affection towards (such as the damn printer in my office) but I've made note of it in my integral assessment.

Okay, at this point I feel like I'm going to beginn to rattle off generic phrases for the sake of finishing this post, and thats not what I want. The fact is I'm not sure where I am after this integral assessment. I thought about those I know I love unconditionally (whether I want to or not) and it makes me wonder if much of this is beyond our control dispite what we're being taught. This is not necessarily in relation to being in love with someone that you would rather not be, but more of the sense that when we're still we see the reflection of what we percieve as good in ourselves in certain parts of the people and things around us. Isn't that what we think is good? The things that understand us? The kindred, so to speak.

So far I've assessed that can be in a good mental/spiritual state depending on whether or not I can recognize these things around me. I think it was Ethan Frome who said something about loneliness being the inability to express the deepest part of youself to something around you. And isn't loneliness just another form of unhappiness and, ultimately, disconnection from yourself? I'm going to focus on recognizing the things that I am able to relate to in others and in things around me. So far, I've found this to be the greatest source of comfort when I don't feel that something is right.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about both the Loving Kindness and Subtle Mind exercises for the past few days. If I wanted to do a base comparison of the two, this blog would likely sound something like:

"They both require a quiet, relaxed environment. They both require a peaceful and accepting mindset. Etc..."

The fact is I don't think that would properly address their purpose. I could probably get credit for this type of response but the application of it would lose its meaning for me. What I have noticed is that both these exercises require a good amount of honesty and are really, really personal in nature. Asking somebody to quiet their minds and focus on thier thoughts and emotions can bring some unexpected things to light. My experiences with them were frustrating at first because I felt myself resisting the instructions to be aware of my thoughts. To me it's a little harder than it sounds to remove yourself from the immediate situation and possibly follow up with feelings of love and kindness. Is there anything more personal than allowing yourself to feel love for something? For me, it is asking a lot, and I'm not entirely ready to give that portion of myself up yet.

In the search for total wellness, there will come a time when we need to face our spiritual health. This, I think, is far more difficult than either mental or physical health in terms of addressing. My immediate reaction is to feel that spiritual health is more closely tied to mental health than it is to physical. There are, of course, studies showing how spiritual health will tie into physical life through prayer/healing but I think that a person cannot address this issue until they are mentally healthy. At a minimum, I think we can improve them both simultaneously but I can't visualize a scenario in which someone is spiritually healthy but mentally/emotionally unstable.

This week's exercise was focused on producing feelings of loving-kindness and then projecting those feelings onto your thoughts, yourself, and your environment. As I began the exercise, I had a distinct feeling of fear in me that I couln't put my finger on. I listened carefully but couldn't shake this sensation and it definitely made a difference on how effective this could have been. I don't know what I was afraid of but I did notice that it was still possible to feel this loving-kindness; however, it wasn't strong and when I managed to place it in certain areas it only kind of touched on them and didn't give the full effect that it could have. I would still reccomend this exercise to others because, dispite my difficulty, it did have a slight positive effect on my feelings of well-being afterwards.

I did some reading on the concept of a mental workout and it makes a lot of sense that it is something that needs to be repeated over and over again. A mental workout is more than just a few simple breathing exercises to relax you; it serves to quiet your mind so that you can gain a better perspective on your internal self. Regularly perfoming these exercises can lead to decreased feelings of emotional instability because of the calm mindset that it all comes with. I plan on practicing this during my quieter moments of the day or when I can get in an environment where it might be useful. Off the top of my head, two moments I can think of are when I shave and brush my teeth in the mornings and during my commute on the metro and trams to work.

Week three exercises

I honestly don't think some of the questions asked in week 3 can be answered in any type of way that would give justice to the true purpose of this course. I've been tasked in previous classes with taking a 'time out' and evaluating myself in spiritual, physical, and mental areas. My response was that I feel good, but I could be doing better; isn't that everyone's consensus? So what if I assign a rating of 7 to any of the aforementioned areas, would my goal be to get it to a 9? How do I even quantify something like that?


I could be better. That's the point. It's also the problem. The deep sense of general dissatisfaction is like a radioactive waste spill in our lives. It sits there ominous, spreading, and it radiates in the back of our actions without having an immediate or obvious affect.


I guess if I had any goal for these three areas it would be to incorporate love into everything I do: the way I fold my laundry, the way I talk to my friends and family, the attention I devote to my work, the method I read books, and the technique in which I practice Brazilian jujitsu. I've been mulling on this concept for days now and honestly I do feel something inside telling me this is right. I feel myself doing things slower and with greater care. I've decided to continue on this path with no purpose other than to project what might be the best part of me into what I do. 


The relaxation exercise to me was frustrating because I wasn't ready to accept it. I think this was primarily due to the visualization I had during my spiritual evaluation of myself. "In order to promote my spiritual well-being, I will meditate 3 times a week and attend the church I was raised in once a month." This seems so fickle to me, and dissapoints me in a way I can't fully describe. Maybe I'm just being difficult. a

Blood flow exercise

On Friday night I finally tried the 'Journey Into Relaxation' exercise required by my class. I ended up restarting the audio feed 3 times before I was actually able to settle into a mindset that could accept all of the instructions as they were meant to be used. A big part of it for me was that I wanted to treat it the same way I treat meditation; that is, although I could quiet most of my external distractions, I needed to make sure my internal ones were silent as well. All week my lower back has been in pretty bad pain. I can't help but think about the film '50/50' where it turns out the character experiencing a lower backache actually has neurofibrosarcoma (cancer). I'm sure I'm just being a hypochondriac, but I'll make it a point to get it checked out. Anyways, so as I managed to lay back and relax even though my lower back relentlessly demanded attention and I visualized my sternum as a warm cauldron of blood waiting to be distributed anywhere it was needed. Although the exercise directed me to focus on my arms, the word 'back' repeated itself in my head, so I naturally focused my attention there. I thought the voice was a little distracting but necessary for a first time user to be guided to the intended end state. I was skeptical at first but once I got my breathing under control everything else came pretty easily. The areas that I focused blood flow to became warmer and aside from the relaxation that followed, a sense of well-being came over me as well. Afterwards, I couldn't help but wonder if the warmth I experienced was imagined or if my body had actually responded to my commands. Didn't I read something on Buddhist monks changing their body temperature through meditation?  After searching Google I found this site that confirmed that it was possible to make this happen. Interesting. I've decided to try again later on this week without audio guidance to get better at this.

Introductory Post/ A Few thoughts

I never really thought I’d write a blog. Seeing what people produce when they realize they have the ability to instantly place on display every thought that comes to mind has turned me off to the whole prospect of blogging. Is it just me, or are too many posts on these social networking sites beginning to look a lot like one another?  Maybe I’m just playing devil’s advocate, but this might be a good thing. Kind of a ‘culling of the herd’ where genuinely new ideas get noticed against a backdrop of simulacra*. To be fair, I too am guilty of the Facebook post that I thought was just the bees knees at the time only to realize that I am, in fact, just as stupid as everyone else.

Well, the mind/body connection is a powerful thing, and if posting a few lines on the subject every week gives me a better understanding of mine,  I’ll give this a try. What’s the worst that could happen?

Welcome to my blog.

-Danny

*My new favorite word that I learned last week: unsatisfactory imitations lacking the impact of the original.